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I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town! 67 7.44 Never Lie to your Motheryou never know what she knows... 5635 7.41 Drunk Sermonwhen the priest has a little too much to drink... 8140 7.40 African ClientThe beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king... 2028 7.32 The BusA lady 7 months pregnant boarded a bus.. 3309 7.10 Young Salesmana married woman was having an affair.. 1729 6.92 Some Things You Can't ExplainA farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar... 1786 6.89 Doctor, Lawyer, and a BikerI got my wife a... 982 6.87 IRS Auditwhat should I wear.. 699 6.79 Bar BetThe local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet... 243 6.78 Bank Etiquettewe do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank.. 2137 6.78 Very Bad NewsA man walks into a bar and asks for six shots of vodka... 741 6.77 Retired PirateAfter many years at sea a pirate decided it was time to retire. Since he had suffered injuries on the job he thought that he could also collect disability insurance.. 448 6.76 Airplane Takes OffAn airplane takes off... 426 6.74 Bad Mouthed Parrotthis parrot swears like a sailor... 901 6.72 Walmart Clerkif you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it.. 1627 6.71 What causes Arthritis?A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest.. 588 6.64 Train Tickets3 accountants and 3 engineers... 563 6.60 Elderly FirefightersWho can fight the blaze...? 330 6.58 Blind PilotsOne day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew... 529 6.47 Gold CoinsI stopped at the local Pharmacy and while I was checking out, I picked up some candy... 27 6.42 Two TestsTwo children were sitting outside a clinic... 572 6.15 UnderwaterOne day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level... 277 6.12 Bar CowboyA cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink... 693 6.12 Corn Wagona farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn... 246 6.03 OrganistThe minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building... 177 6.02 Volunteer Fire DepartmentA fire started on some grassland near a farm in Indiana.. 308 6.00 Cowboy and Horsea cowboys fun ride is ended... 349 5.99 Subway PokeThe subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people were forced to stand... 231 5.92 Terrible CoughOutside a pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life.. 15 5.90 Health InspectorThe health inspector shut down the restaurant.. 272 5.89 The GenieA secretary, a paralegal and a partner in a city law firm are walking through a park on their way to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp... 209 5.89 Ive Made Up My Mind...I've made up my mind, I'm divorcing Mama... 326 5.73 How I Got RichA young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932... 24 5.69 Real BeerAt the end of the day, all of the presidents of all beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar.. 386 5.65 Stay Away from WifeIt's from someone who says if I don't stay away from his wife, he'll kill me... 17 5.64 This is GoodThe friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"... 174 5.58 Supermarket Clerkhome of ugly women and great hockey teams... 226 5.54 New AccountantFresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant.. 112 5.50 Seeing Eye Dogbut the sign on the front door says, 'No Pets Allowed'... 332 5.48 SolaceA man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City.. 171 5.43 Cowboy vs PreacherOne Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. 60 5.34 Future Employeesplace and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs... 202 5.32 Rich Businessman PraysA businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal... 161 5.27 Bad Geniea genie popped up out of his ashtray and said, "And what will your third wish be?"... 83 5.21 Traffic StopLate one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin... 121 5.16 Bum ProofA bum asks a man for two bucks... 298 5.16 Writer's HellA writer died and St. Peter offered him the option of going to hell or to heaven... 133 4.57 Survival GuideA Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert 216 4.49 Guess Who Sent Them?A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon... 297 4.46 Death Rowlawyer has some good news and some bad news... 524 3.85 Red LightsMy friend Joe and I were crusing down the street in Joe's new car... 632 3.79 Database last updated: 20-Oct-2011 © 1998-2009 JokesAndHumor.com. 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