|Baby Photographer |
The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family...
|Half Sister |
Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town!
|Never Lie to your Mother |
you never know what she knows...
|Drunk Sermon |
when the priest has a little too much to drink...
|African Client |
The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king...
|The Bus |
A lady 7 months pregnant boarded a bus..
|Young Salesman |
a married woman was having an affair..
|Some Things You Can't Explain |
A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar...
|Doctor, Lawyer, and a Biker |
I got my wife a...
|IRS Audit |
what should I wear..
|Bar Bet |
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet...
|Bank Etiquette |
we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank..
|Very Bad News |
A man walks into a bar and asks for six shots of vodka...
|Retired Pirate |
After many years at sea a pirate decided it was time to retire.
Since he had suffered injuries on the job he thought that he
could also collect disability insurance..
|Airplane Takes Off |
An airplane takes off...
|Bad Mouthed Parrot |
this parrot swears like a sailor...
|Walmart Clerk |
if you drop it on the counter I
can tell you everything you need to know about it..
|What causes Arthritis? |
A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest..
|Train Tickets |
3 accountants and 3 engineers...
|Elderly Firefighters |
Who can fight the blaze...?
|Blind Pilots |
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are
seated, waiting for the cockpit crew...
|Gold Coins |
I stopped at the local Pharmacy and while I was checking out, I picked up some candy...
|Two Tests |
Two children were sitting outside a clinic...
One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level...
|Bar Cowboy |
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink...
|Corn Wagon |
a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn...
The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask
the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for
repairs to the church building...
|Volunteer Fire Department |
A fire started on some grassland near a farm in Indiana..
|Cowboy and Horse |
a cowboys fun ride is ended...
|Subway Poke |
The subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people were forced to
|Terrible Cough |
Outside a pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life..
|Health Inspector |
The health inspector shut down the restaurant..
|The Genie |
A secretary, a paralegal and a partner in a city law firm are walking
through a park on their way to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp...
|Ive Made Up My Mind... |
I've made up my mind, I'm divorcing Mama...
|How I Got Rich |
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932...
|Real Beer |
At the end of the day, all of the presidents of all beer companies
decide to have a drink in a bar..
|Stay Away from Wife |
It's from someone who says if I don't stay away from his wife, he'll kill me...
|This is Good |
The friend had a habit of looking at
every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative)
and remarking, "This is good!"...
|Supermarket Clerk |
home of ugly women and great hockey teams...
|New Accountant |
Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant..
|Seeing Eye Dog |
but the sign on the front door says, 'No Pets Allowed'...
A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City..
|Cowboy vs Preacher |
One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present.
|Future Employees |
place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs...
|Rich Businessman Prays |
A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal...
|Bad Genie |
a genie popped up out of his ashtray and said, "And what will your third wish be?"...
|Traffic Stop |
Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving
very erratically through the streets of Dublin...
|Bum Proof |
A bum asks a man for two bucks...
|Writer's Hell |
A writer died and St. Peter offered him the option of going to hell or to heaven...
|Survival Guide |
A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert
|Guess Who Sent Them? |
A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon...
|Death Row |
lawyer has some good news and some bad news...
|Red Lights |
My friend Joe and I were crusing down the street in Joe's new car...